“you’re denying it so it must be true!”
NO IM DENYING IT BECAUSE ITS FALSE MOTHERFUCKER
(via rockabilly-kitty)
if you think your family is dysfunctional remember that zeus got a woman pregnant but she burned to death so he rescued the fetus from her ashes and sewed it into his thigh and gave birth to it himself and that fetus is now the god of wine and sexual deviancy god bless
My great aunt stabbed her husband in the stomach on their anniversary and he decided not to divorce her because he didn’t want a custody battle over the goats.
(via rockabilly-kitty)
im gonna make a movie that’s titled “WILL SOMETHING SCARY HAPPEN?” and it will feature an hour and a half of someone walking around their house in the dark doing various things that COULD be the prelude to something scary but nothing actually scary will happen until after the credits when spooky scary skeletons will play
(via rockabilly-kitty)
the rough neighborhoods of italy are called the spaghetto
I’m so unphotogenic what am I going to do when I’m famous
that wasn’t very pastel pale soft transparent grunge of you
(Source: cnnbreakingofficial, via purefriend)
STOP UNFOLLOWING ME I HAVE 5 CHILDREN AND A WIFE TO SUPPORT
you are a gay teenage boy
NOT IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN
(via purefriend)
it’d be cool to speak like 20 different languages & keep it a secret from everyone & then during a time of crisis, u could speak some fluent russian to some russian guy holding a gun to your head & all your friends will be like daaamn
(via sunshineecutiee)
i actually like being up early i just don’t like getting up early
YOU PUT THIS IN WORDS
(via purefriend)
